Living in Spain

You know you’ve lived in Spain a long time when….

1. You can’t get over how early bars & clubs shut back home - surely they’re shutting just as you should be going out? 
2. You aren’t just surprised that the Spanish plumber / decorator / electrician has turned up on time, you’re surprised he turned up at all. 
3. Not giving every new acquaintance dos besos (two kisses) seems so rude. 
4. You’re shocked by people getting their legs out at the first hint of sun - surely they should wait until at least late June 
5. You eat lunch after 2pm & would never even think of having your evening meal before 9. 
6. You know that after 2pm there’s no point in going shopping, you might as well just have a siesta until 5 when the shops re-open. 
7. You know you must take two days off when you have to do any official paper chasing, for cars, residence, etc. 
8. You don’t accept beer that’s anything less than ice-cold. 
9. You know Bimbo isn’t a slutty woman, it’s a make of bread 
10. You have friends named Jesus, Jose Maria, Maria Jose, Angel, maybe even Inmaculada Concepcion… 
11. When you make arrangements to meet friends at 3, the first person turns up at 3.30…if you’re lucky! 
12. To avoid that cheap Eristoff vodka you have to ask for ‘un smirnoff’. 
13. Who needs a dryer when you have a washing line outside the window of your apartment? 
14. You prefer UHT milk. 
15. You prefer all the above to the way they do things back home.